Provocative Therapy Articles
Provocative Therapy Articles
The skills and attitude needed for Provocative Change Work
Sunday 29th January 2012
I am about to start a series of Provocative Change Works events across the globe, starting in Japan next week. During trainings I always explain the meaning of the term “provocative” in the context of therapy and how it is also used to best effect in all kinds of other communication situations. Unfortunately the term “provocative” can be seen by some folks as either “an aggressive approach” or “a comedic approach”. Yes there can be humour in provocative exchanges, but the purpose of a provocative session is not to “try and be funny!” and certainly not to be aggressive with the client. |
Posted by Nick Kemp at 12:09
The Code of Chronicity
Friday 16th December 2011
![]() The code of loyalty among delinquents, prison inmates, criminals, and certain oppressed minority groups is a well-known social phenomenon. This code of behaviour represents not only the acceptance of socially deviant group values but specifically prohibits a member of the group from consorting with members of other groups, especially those representing “authority”. A breach of code, resulting in the apprehension or punishment of other group members, is likely to result in social ostracism, ridicule, physical punishment or death for the transgressing member. Such epithets as “stool pigeon,” “stoolie,” “rat fink,” “teachers pet,” “ass-kisser,” and “brown-noser” are reserved for those individuals who cooperate with authority figures responsible for controlling or modifying the behaviour of the group in which these individual belong. Of interest is the ambivalent attitude of those in authority toward “informers”. On the one hand they are dependant on these people for vital information; and the other hand they regard informers as traitorous and despicable. In a sense, then, both the deviant sub cultural group and the group vested with authority have formed an unwritten and informal pact to withhold sanctuary and solace from people who break the group code. |
Posted by Nick Kemp at 10:18
Excerpt from 1970s Frank Farrelly interview
Thursday 22nd October 2009
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This is an excerpt from a 1970s Frank Farrelly radio interview talking about working with teenagers with Frank talking to Dick Goldberg.
I was a teenager – that’s number one. Number two, I didn’t just read about teenagers, I’ve done a lot of work with them over the years, and have a minor reputation of working with them. June and I, my wife and I, are just easing out of having raised four teenagers and I’ve read some of the research and stuff about them too. I have both engaged this subject at the experiential level from both ends, both as a teenager and as a parent and have done a lot of work with them over the years. I dunno, kids and cats and puppy dogs gravitate towards me – I’ve never known why but I guess that might be another qualification too.
Well, there are other people that gravitate towards me too, 82 year olds too.
Yeah, I think in a lot of ways, if not, then every therapist would have had to have every single life experience before they could help, guide, counsel, therapise somebody about and that’s not necessarily true, but I think that, I would say this that the more different avenues, the more levels, the more aspects that are given subject, life stage, life problems, that you’ve engaged on and gone through it yourself, you’ve really struggled, so that it becomes not just merely cognitive, speculative, data left brain type of knowledge, but alpha experiential practical. Dealing with the dimensions of the problem, it’s tough dealing with teenagers, its tough being a teenager, I mean when I was 16 for about a five month period every adult seemed to be yelling at me saying why didn’t you think. Well I supposed to use foresight but I didn’t know that it would turn out wrong. How can I think if I don’t know how to think? I’ve never had to experience that before. And they said ‘you should have thought’ and I just felt that whatever…It’s difficult on the other side too.
19.
Well…yes but there are occasional reversions .
I would like to say this is one of the things that when I was having breakfast, I said well what do you think I should talk about in terms of teenagers this morning and June and I really kinda struggled through with this. She said the main thing is don’t give up and survive. Our kids aren’t just our offspring, aren’t just teenagers to us. Kathleen, Bridgit, Timmy and Alice, they’re some of the most important people on the planet to us. So everything that I say this morning is him talk about teenagers is within that framework-but they’re tough to deal with.
They’re poison… Somebody once suggested that all teenagers ought to be shipped off to some island where they would just learn to do it with themselves and then afterwards when they get out of their teens then they’re allowed back on to the mainland.
My experience in both therapy and as a parent and an observer of human beings and listening. I always listen to people. Not just in therapy but I’ve always been curious just about how people deal with and solve problems and just watch them.
Some parents seem to be really good with itsby bitsy teeny weeny babies. Others like more the latency period when they’re kinda 8 – 12 , the Tom Sawyer types and stuff, and then some of them really like teenagers. I know a lot of group homes for example counsellors and directors round town that have done a lot of work with their organisations over the last number of years, they to like teenagers. I tell them that doesn’t mean they’re bad people it’s just a lot of people would question their judgement . Some people really like them. I think we have a right as parents, adults, teachers, therapists, whatever, to say ‘I like this age, I like these types.’ Teenage girls are OK but teenage boys are ..you know. whatever, or vice versa.
It shifts…I’ve asked myself that.. well now that on a given day it’s much more fluid . On a given day I came home one night when June was (before she started working outside the home again) I said ‘how did it go?’ and she said ‘for 2 bits I’d sell ‘em to the lowest bidder.’ I burst out laughing because. So on a given day it’s .. the girls or my son were the most difficult to deal with.
Well, that’s an excellent question and I don’t mean to dodge it but I think that what I’ve finally kinda wrestled with that one myself, is this the most difficult, is this the most enjoyable age, people sometimes say, enjoy your kids while you have them because you won’t have them I said ‘when does that happen?’ And then other times I’ve had some of the most deeply moving experiences of my entire life being a father, a cool parent with the kids, our kids and others. I think that at each age is beautiful and deeply moving, desirable, loveable, and each ages has its huh huh non-desirable, un-lovely aspects.
Yes, for a variety of reasons.
Well, it’s storm and stress not only for the teenagers, but also for the parents, teachers this whole dependency / independency conflict thing just gets stretched out from 13 – 19+ in this culture. There’s no culture that stretches out childhood and young adulthood like the USA and Western Europe too but we have a very protracted childhood and Margaret and me and other anthropologists, sociologists, social psychologists have noted this. It’s difficult because it’s like at times you’ve got 4 other adults around, (well, we did) and then literally in mid sentence they would revert to 8 year olds or something like that. It’s sort of like , you kinda go through a time warp or twilight zone , well are you this or are you that?, well, it turns out they’re both.
That’s right. Adolescence is becoming an adult but then again around a given issue not just on a given day around a given issue in mid paragraph it can switch from… but it is a growth kind of thing and all change is difficult. Change is difficult on parents.
For example, this morning June said I remember the time when one of our daughters was supposed to go to a party. It began at 10pm and there were no parents around and we said absolutely not. While you’re old fashioned, fine put me anti-diluvium before the deluge, everybody else is going…well, tough… worst enemy deviation times 9, you don’t let me do anything ever, this over generalisation stuff it’s not just the Pentagon and the Kremlin that do over generalisation, it’s teenagers that are the past masters. I don’t know where they pick this stuff but guilt inductions, hypnotic guilt inductions on parents, it’s not like this, tears, sobs, call your social worker, the child welfare if you feel you’re being terribly oppressed. So we kept our foot down and we said no. The next day she said mum and dad, thanks a lot for not letting me go to that party, I didn’t want to go anyway. If labour organisers had to deal with these kind of fluid communication, hidden agendas and I didn’t mean that as a conspiratorial kind of thing, she didn’t realise until afterwards that she didn’t want to go.
Yeah. And it’s not just teenagers who do that. A lot of people do that, we all do it. A lot of times we’ll just keep …it’s like we don’t know . I had a patient once who ..I don’t know what I’m going to say, what I think can feel until I say it out loud to you and watch your reaction. While some people would say that’s very adolescent. He was 33, some people feel dependent. It means that you don’t quite know what the stormy process is and you have to kinda bounce it off other people and a lot of us process information and learn about ourselves that way. Kids need structure, but so do we, so do 82 year olds. The thing is they’re kids and they have all the adult issues. I remember as a teenager people would say, ‘boy enjoy this, this is the most wonderful time of your life,’ and I thought yeah? You got a thimble full of potential capacity to deal with adult problems that all the adults are dealing with, sex, money, identity, job, school, making it, developing friends etc etc. It’s tough.
Well, I very much, for example in family therapy, I put the parents right smack back in the driver’s seat. There really is a Chinese proverb that says that the child is in charge of its parents has fools as parents. And I think that part of that is that, it’s not just that father knows best or mother knows best, or they’re the seat of all wisdom, it’s just that in the state of Wisconsin we don’t give 9 year olds car keys. It’s because they simply don’t…. I was talking to a 14 year old in therapy the other day…Why not? Because they couldn’t handle it. I said what do you mean? They’re not mature enough, I said what does that mean ? They don’t have the judgement. She said they’re not big enough, I said no, 9 year olds are large enough, they’re tall enough to drive a car.
You see, that’s when it gets difficult,
Whenever I hear about being a friend and stuff like that …my father who was and Irish patriarch, never was a friend of ours, of his 12 children, I was number 9, but he was very definitely a father. And he could be very nurturing in many many ways. But we never forgot who he was. When I was 6, he wasn’t mad but he said ‘look, I’m the father and you’re the son’. I said ‘right I got that. Dad don’t go too fast’. And then he said, ‘when you get old..’ and I said ‘ why can’t I do this kind of stuff in my house?’ and he’d say ‘no, this is my house. When you get old and grow up then you’re going to have your house, and when you have your children then you make the rules’. He said it very kindly and stuff but it’s like he was setting my mental compass straight. It’s like, this is north, and that’s south and if you’ve go those confused kid, you’re confused. One thing June said this morning about in terms of structure and when do you give the kids their dependency, you give the kids some rope and when do you pull it, it’s very difficult and it’s sort of ad hoc. Everyday has an ad hoc committee between parents and kids but they do need structure and limitations.
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Posted by Nick Kemp at 10:54
Association For Provocative Therapy
Thursday 22nd October 2009
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Posted by Nick Kemp at 10:54
Differences between Provocative Therapy and Provocative Change Works
Thursday 22nd October 2009
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In recent times I was explaining to a colleague about the difference between Provocative Therapy and the Provocative Change Works approaches. The Provocative Change Works approach is very different in a number of respects to Frank Farrelly's Provocative Therapy which is detailed in the original book of the same name that was published in the mid 1970s.
Provocative Change Works uses the "provocative elements of communication" alongside NLP and hypnosis tools.
Although Frank does not describe what he does in Provocative Therapy as "hypnosis", many clients report going into "trance like states" This was certainly my experience when I first met him in 2004 and had my first interview with him!
In Provocative Change Works I combine Ericksonian hypnotic patterns with elements of Provocative Therapy. I have found this combination of tools to produce the fastest, most successful and lasting results when working with clients. This combined approach which I use in my private practice is demonstrated extensively on the "Provocative Change Works for Phobias" DVD set.
In classic Provocative Therapy the therapist will start the session with the question "What's the problem?" In Provocative Change Works I may use this approach during the session, but not always at the start of the session.
In private practice I ask clients to complete a set of notes prior to seeing me in person and then begin the session by implementing "yes sets" to set the direction of the interview. Provocative Therapy also does not formally use submodality work as found in NLP to change client states, but the Provocative Change Works approach does use this tool set alongside provoking the client while taking note of the different rep systems the client is using to feedback his or her responses.
Provocative Change Works also uses the "right here, right now" philosophy that Frank uses in Provocative Therapy and everything that occurs in the session is about what is happening in each moment and normally without many of the overt techniques used by some NLP practitioners.
On the Provocative Change Works for Phobias DVD set, I provide an audio commentary during the needle phobia session where I describe how I switch between PT, NLP and trance work, and frequently chain specific states to produce successful outcomes for the client. There are many other differences between these two approaches, but its true to say that Frank Farrelly, Richard Bandler and Milton Erickson are the primary influences in creating the Provocative Change Works approach with astoundingly effective results. I run trainings in both Provocative Therapy (in "the classical sense") and my own "Provocative Change Works" approach.
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Posted by Nick Kemp at 10:53


